As much as I love love saying the words, "I'm going back to Paris this weekend," I always have have to follow with the drab truth that I am not going to France. There is a tiny town in north east Texas called Paris (near the border of Oklahoma), and my man friend and I have friends there. It's a nice little place out in the country about 2 hours from home, and just far enough out of the way to make it feel like a vacation. There are adorable little overpriced antique shops in the town square, and our friends have the most adorable little girl I've ever known. The funny (amazing) thing is, we don't really listen to the radio on those drives, we talk the entire time.
The reason this is relevant to this blog is because before we left, something really embarrassing happened to me. I shall start from the beginning:
It was my dad's birthday party, and it was marti gras themed. There were beads in the trees in the back yard, a fire pit, and candles scattered around the garden. People wore masks, and my mother made some amazing food. I was tempted to wear my $6 plastic boobs that I got for Halloween one year, but I was informed that they are tacky. The party was really nice, and I've come to enjoy the themes my family put together, no matter how random they seem. (example: my mothers 42nd birthday party was deemed a hot flash bash, and everything was pink and red and we all had hand fans).
Well, after the party wound down, I was saying my goodbyes around the fire pit. When I went to stand up to get out of my chair, I realized that my ass was stuck. I mean, I stood up and the chair came with me, quite literally clutching my hips like a monkey on it's mothers back. Needless to say, my family started laughing at me. I sat back down and made a depressing "awwwwww" sound that made everyone laugh harder. Because it was my family, I wasn't so much embarrassed as I would have been around strangers or friends. Thank god.
Well that started the ride out to Paris on a fat note. We started talking about dieting. The discussion very quickly jumped on my weight watchers smart ones that I take to lunch vs. his 3 sandwhiches ("But I'm using LOW FAT MAYONASE!"). This man is not impossible to argue with, but winning him over is absolutely futile. I mentioned that the weight watchers program works really well if we both got on it and stuck to it, we could loose a lot of weight. We could research online and find out exactly how many points each of us should get to avoid the meetings and membership fees. Then there were the pros and cons of counting calories vs. counting points vs. just eating healthy. The discussion dwindled down to the fact that no matter which way we went, we would have to keep count of things, and neither of us would realistically stick to that very long. Then the topic moved to gyms and their benefits. I pointed out that there is no way I'm going to work for 9 hours, then go WORK OUT every night (or every other night for that matter). I know myself. That membership will be waisted. We finally decided that a walk by the lake in the evenings wouldn't kill us.
We discussed what our options are for the entire 2 hours. There was no agreement on any type of program or routine that would work for both of us as a team. We concluded that we are going to have to go at our weight problems on our own.
When we got to Paris, we let it all go. We relaxed and watched movies and laughed and played with the kid and the dogs. Sunday night, I was in the bathroom washing my face and their 3 year old little girl came in behind me and said, "Woah! You have a REALLY BIG BUTT!" Have I mentioned that I don't like kids? We'll save that subject for another time.
As far as my weight loss progress has gone, it really hasn't. I haven't really dropped any significant weight since December. But I haven't gained any weight either, so I suppose that's a step in the right direction. Or at very least, not a backslide down the big fat hill.
For dinner tonight, I'm cutting up potatoes and chicken sausage and baking it in the oven with some rosemary. And I'm having a Shiner Light Blonde (that's only 99 calories of delicious Texas Shiner Bock goodness).
This is going to be a very long process.
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