This year I went on a family Christmas camping trip with my father's side. on the way there, I got lost not once, not twice, but three times (and a total of 5 hours) until my dad met up with me and escorted me to the campgrounds. Frustration doesn't even begin to define what I was feeling.
Thankfully, once I arrived, I was greeted warmly and I was able to make jokes on myself for not being able to find my way out of a paper bag. We sat around a fire and told lies, my dad and uncle smoked meats on the grill, my cousin caught numerous catfish, and I taught my tipsy aunts how to line dance. Needless to say, it was a very country Christmas, and I'll definitely be going next year.
I couldn't help but notice how out of shape I am while I was there. I was trudging down to the lake in mud boots, following my aunt to where my cousin and sisters were fishing. It was mostly down hill, which wasn't a problem. I held my adult beverage and cigarette the whole time without slipping on my ass or my face. But that walk back up the hill caused me to put out my cigarette and gulp for air. It was less than a quarter of a mile, both ways. I blamed my smoking habit, but I know it was my lack of exercise over the last 3 years. The whole time I was struggling to breathe, I kept telling myself how ridiculous this is. I should be able to do this!
A little background: I moved to Montana in 2007 with the (empty) promise of a new job in the corporate world of financing and loans. I passed all the tests, was qualified, and waited around for 6 months, and still didn't hear back from anyone with a specific start date. While I was waiting, I took advantage of the scenery. Montana doesn't have a whole lot going for it if you crave a city life. But those mountains and ancient trails are incredible. I hiked part of the Lewis and Clark trails, and hiked up a very steep plateau called Buffalo Jump. I walked through big fields and got chased by a heard of black cattle (terrifying, but the point is, I could out RUN them!), and discovered a love for Pilate's.
In Montana, I lost a lot of weight. I didn't put myself on a diet, I didn't set myself a goal. I did things that I liked to do, without putting any mental strain on myself. I drank beer and liqueur and wine and smoked cigarettes. I ate whatever I wanted to.
Since I've been back home in Texas, I let myself go again. I'm not nearly the 330 I was in high school, but I'm inching my way back up there. I don't work out at all, and I eat terribly. My body aches, and it's a struggle for me to stretch. I don't want to set myself a weight loss goal, or put myself on another crash diet. I don't want to try just to fail and gain even more weight.
Instead, I'll consider the advice that I got from an amazing blogger: 30 minutes of movement, 5 times a week. And to accomplish this, I have an exercise bike in my living room. It's not put together yet (my man friend is helping me with that) but between that, and playing Wii, I'll be happy with whatever results I get. After a month, I'll increase my time, and take it up to another level. Maybe by this time next year I'll splurge and join a gym (very unlikely)!
First, I want to stretch my stamina and flexibility. I'll start with 30 minutes on the bike 3 times a week, and 30 minutes on Wii Fit the other 2 days. This is a realistic minimum for me. If I'm sitting on my ass watching TV, why can't I bike on my ass while watching TV? I just got a used Wii and the balance board for $60. I haven't owned a game console since Nintendo 64, so this is a major upgrade for me. There's no reason at all why I CAN'T.
Then, I want to fit comfortably into my clothes. I'll start with the ones I have now, and I won't buy any more jeans until I have absolutely nothing to cover my ass at all during this process. I have my old size 14 jeans in my closet, with adorable deer on the back pocket, and they will stay there until they can be worn again. No pressure. They're not going anywhere.
The numbers game doesn't interest me much, because I don't strive to be any particular weight. I just want my clothes to fit. I learned a long time ago that those 3 numbers on the scale can break you down and make you loose your sense of well being, no matter how you FEEL. Sure, I'll keep track of the numbers, but with my amazing new scale that measures water weight, muscle and bones, and total weight. I'll even share them, because I am not ashamed, and those 3 numbers will not make or break me.
For now, I'll keep my goals small, take it slow, and keep it very realistic. I'll celebrate my success, and I'll share my setbacks. I know loosing weight is the most cliche resolution in the world, but that's not what this is about. This is about getting myself healthy again. This is about getting myself moving, not striving to be someone I'm not.
TO DO:
1. put my exercise bike together
2. make a workout play list
3. get a 2012 calender
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